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12:07am 27/07/2009
I think I've done enough cleaning for tonight.

Hopefully 5 days until Andrew is back.
I keep going between super super happy to "5 more days???? How could I possibly hold on any longer?" to "What if things have chaaaaanged???" kind of thing.

I'm very good at shopping. That's what I've replaced smoking with. Not that I haven't stooped to a few drunken drags.

Today I bought things for Andrew.
Blaq jammie pants - $34.99 - my price - $8
Saxony shirt - $79.99 - my price - $20
Ridiculous shoes - $129.99 - my price $15.60

I love sale time.

I have to start saving soon though.
I put tonnes of money in from my savings from my tax.. but I could really be doing a whole lot less spending.

On a completely different note.. I have an amazing collection of clothes, shoes, and accessories. I have some lovely makeup and many DVDS and books.

I want a nice bag though.. that's what I don't have. My Elvis one keeps breaking.

Shallowness is getting me through this time.. much easier than feelings.
"Yay shoes!" is much more fun than "How long NOW til he gets back?"

I'm kinda tired but hyped up on coffee.

This time next week I'll be on annual leave. The day after that I'll head to Sydney and harass my boyfriend whenever possible. When he is at work I will watch 90210 and True Blood and read books and practice how to do housework.. I bet it's hard.
When he is at home I will hug him and kiss him and sit on him until he needs space.. then I will busy myself.. then I will do it again.

I think it's bed time.

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08:38pm 14/07/2009
Things feel good
I got my tax back and bought incredible shoes.
I have heaps of hours at work the next 2 weeks.
Then my boyfriend will get back.
Holy crap boyfriend will be back.
After 3 months.
Then I have 2 weeks annual leave and lots of money to spend during it.

I want wining and dining and loving and pretty things.

I'm going to grow my fringe out. 6 years is long enough.

I'm going to buy perfume.. either musky or citrusy. I don't know.

I am still looking for the right flat black knee high boots.

I wonder if Andrew will let me take my Elvis posters when I move in.

I'm ok at not smoking.. not the best but pretty damn good.

My stay ups don't stay up.. helllo suspenders.

Oh my god my new shoes.


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09:02am 23/06/2009
  New Jess is weird.. but more organised.. and gets up early.  

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01:10am 29/05/2009
  Ok.. I'm not a pisshead (I didn't drink for 6 nights before last night) but I am updating drunk.
I woke up this morning (drunk) and told my friend that I'd updated last night.. and was worried that is was terrible.
Another friend said it was lovely.. I still didn't believe.. but I just read it.. and it WAS good. It was how I feel.

I feel other things too.. but they're not too important.

Tonight I went to trivia. I was the soberest I'd ever been at trivia but I have no idea how we went. The point is that I love Sophie, Hannah and Lauren.
Oh and I knew Spike Milligan and how to spell Wollongong.. but my stupid brother changed the answer without telling us (Woollongong) and we got it wrong. Fucker.

I guess I better go to bed.
Some small things are upsetting me but I think sleep will help.

Nighty night

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01:14am 28/05/2009
  I thought that post was way longer>

Andrew is much less scared than me.

After dinner/wine/cocktails/more wine one night I asked him if he minded.
Cos the FIRST time I asked him we were both very drunk and he was on drugs and we both agreed it was a great idea.

But yeah.. after wine etc.. he concluded that he was much less worried than me.
This may be because I worry about his commitment etc. and I mentioned that I could move in with other Sydney friends.
But he is cool. I have said that I would learn to make meatballs and stirfry (seperately)

I guess I've on;y said I'm frightened.
But really,I am so incredibly excited.
I would move now but he is away for another 8 weeks and may very well be docked in newcastle for 3 months after that. Not definitely.. but if it is.. it'll be like when we met but not just on thursdays. haha.

But yes.. excited as fuck to grow up and move out and do something..

that'll do tonight.

thankyou if you read this drunken shit


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06:15pm 24/05/2009
I'm just chillin tonight.
I had a very stupidly big week last week.
Lots of work and LOTS or alcohol.
Monday was drinks with Sofa at Crowne.
Tues I went out with Blancho to see her boyf play at the Northo.
Weds I went to a gallery thinghie with Ayesha and Dorothy. Lovely to run into Mr Beno! After that was to the Wicko.
Thurs was coffee with Han, Ayesh and Blanch (and Dorothy). Then opshopping then TRIVIA!!
Fri.. just relaxed after work this time. thank god.
Sat.. day off work due to Thursdays smoking. Han came over and we watched lots of dvds.
Today.. work.
I finally heard from Andy on Friday :)
He didn't say a lot.. basically he's sick of working too much.. and he's in Darwin but going out to see again.. and he loves me. Awww loveeeee. Lame.

Now is dinner!

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stolen from sofa   
01:17pm 23/05/2009
The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 books from this list. Copy the list into your own note. Bold the read ones

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy (shudder)
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno - Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad (mostly)
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (my dad read it to me.. does tha count?)
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

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11:42pm 21/04/2009
  Today was ok.
I woke up too early again.. which was ok.
Went to work at Virg.. it was ok.
Then off to Sanity.. which was also ok.
Dinner was ok..
the Biggest Loser was pretty rad.
I didn't do much today.

I watched Watership Down tonight (I bought it for $2.75 from Sanity) haha.
I enjoyed it.. but it left out too much (which I hate) and it was a tad gay.
I did enjoy Sherman sleeping on my lap.
He only slept him on my lap because I pulled him out of my skirt drawer and put him there.
It was nice though.

I've been feeling a bit crappy since the weekend. No - not prolonged hangover.. just emotions n shit.

I gotta go to bed. Big work day tomorrow.
I love extra hours.

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12:38am 21/04/2009
  Today I woke up at 5:30am.. got up around 6:30.. worked 11-1 at Virg then 1:30-3:30 at Sanity. I wandered very slowly home.
I stopped at Hot Property to visit Cathy.. then saw Helena at the bus stop.. then stopped at the Lass for one beer.. then visited Simon for a little bit.. then sat on my arse watching tv all night.
I should go to bed..

Andrew called a little bit before 11pm. He had just gotten home from work.. poor thing.
He got to work at 7:30am and worked til 10:15pm. That's a big day.
He worked 8-8 the last couple of nights.
He seems in good spirits though.. good tired spirits.
And he and the other boys made a game that results in them buying rounds when they finish fixing the big stupid ship motor.
I hope he enjoys getting very drunk.
I need cuddles.

I'm going to bed.

night night

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updating from holidays in obsessiontown   
08:25am 20/04/2009
  Hey guys.
So it's happened again. New obsession.
Let's just say.. I keep having dreams about West Beverly High.

So you guys have seen me through a few.. Green Day, Kings of Leon, (probs most notably) Take That, Doctor Who, Biggest Loser.. etc.
The other day, on a whim, I bought season 1 of 90210.
Straight away.. holy crap Jason Priestly.
I knew he was attractive but I'd never seen 90210 before... I didn't know about Brandon Walsh.
Sure he's a little do-gooder pansy but he's amazing! Haha.
I am super ridiculously in love with him.
I dig Dylan/Luke Perry too.. but he is not Brandon Walsh.

I've already planned to buy season 2 to watch when I'm next in Sydney while Andrew is at work.
Brandon! Those blue eyes are ridiculous. I've never seen someone so ridiculously pretty in my life.
I was even a little upset in episode 2 that he'd lost the mullet he had in the pilot.

I watched season 1 of Dawson's Creek the other night. I do not remember Joey Potter being such a massive bitch! I thought she was just sweet and shy.. but no.. she's out and loud with her bitchines and I found it amazing.
But.. 90210 shits on Dawson's Creek.

I wrote something about my love of Brandon Walsh as a Facebook status update. I reckon it would have to be my most commented ever.
Girls remembering their love and their merchandise. I want 90210 Twister! And a lifesize Dylan and Brandon puzzle! And a fluro orange t-shirt with Brandon on the front!
Oh man. Here I go again.

So Andrew leaves on his big ship in a few weeks. I haven't seen him in 8 days and I already miss him too much.. I won't see him this weekend either.. but then I'm taking some holidays (if they go through) to go visit him before he leaves.
2 and a half months sucks balls. If I'm having trouble with 8 days I hate to imagine what I'll be like when he leaves.

Anyway.. that'll do me. Catch y'all later.

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04:50pm 07/04/2009
  some things..

Yesterday I watched the Biggest Loser online because I'd missed the Weigh In and the makeover episode. THAT'S LAME!
Worse still... I got emotional in the makeover episode. HAHAHA.
I friggin love the Biggest Loser.

I had lots of weird dreams this morning.. but only remember a few things clearly.
*I was really good friends with Andrew of the Biggest Loser
*I drank a lot of coffee and scotch
*I was talking to Zac Efron at a party. He was friends with some of my friends. I was excited because we got along well and had done so on a few different occasions which meant that I could definitely refer to him as an acquaintance.
He was a little bit sleazy and put his hand on my back but I ignored it so I could ask him questions about other celebrities.
When I asked him about Ashley Tisdale he said.
"Yeah she's cool. I really love to fuck her"
I was so astounded and told him that Zac Efron should not be sleazy and should not swear.
But we were still cool.

This morning I got up and Zac Efron was on the front of the entertainment part of the newspaper. I was a little excited.

Today was work.. I was productive but only had a short shift. I wanted the Myer magazine but had to buyh something to get it so I bought "The Big Lebowski" for my Dad.
Caught bus to town and attempted to walk home but ended up in Salvo's for an hour or something.. then popped round to Ayesha's where her mum was.
She and I went down to the park to see Ayesh, then when I was about to start walking again.. the rain got heavy. No exercise today.

The lack of exercise is bad today.. I bought 2 dresses from the op shop that were too small for me. Haha.

Tonight I will clean my room.

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04:38pm 25/03/2009
  mmm.. sorry bout last night.. i go weird sometimes  

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01:44am 25/03/2009
  ok so han just got online and i will talk a bit.. then CLEANING!
this is why i drink coffee so late.. the mindframe "well youre not going to get any sleep anyway.. just clean!"

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02:35pm 03/03/2009
  It's muggy.
And I feel a bit crap cos I slept too long and my body is a bit sore from me sleeping like a log on my crap mattress.
But all else is good I spose.
I intend to start cleaning my room soon... any time now.

I made awesome scrambled eggies this morning.. no not this morning.. this afternoon.. anyway.. It had been a while.. and now my tummy is super happy.

Ok less procrastinating now.

Probably going to clean my room

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04:11am 03/03/2009
  I just spent several hours finishing the second half of Watership Down.
It must have been 5 hours.. seriously.. and 2 hours earlier today.
I loved it so much.
Such a good adventure.. with bunnies!

I think it took so long because I'm so tired and had trouble concentrating.. but still couldn't put it down.
Aww.. bunnies..

If I had a bunny I'd call him Hazel.
But I can't have a bunny cos I have a ferret.
And Shermans eat Hazels.
And Sherman is funnier.

He spent about 20 minutes trying to get into a plastic bag in my room today. He just really wanted the pack of bobby pins for some reason.
Once he had gotten inside he discovered the pack was hard to pick up.. but kept trying.. moving it little bits at a time trying to hide it somewhere.
I love how they try to stash things.
He has succeeded in hiding my brother's wallet.. it was eventually found under his bed, in the middle so it was hard to reach.
It would've been difficult for him to hide my Mum's purse.. it was in her bag, on her bed, then turned up under her wardrobe.
We once opened the drawer of the desk he likes to sleep in to find a plastic bag, my mum's missing top and several other things.
Oh Shermy.. endlessly amusing.

My friend became a mother on Thursday night. She had a gorgeous baby girl that I can't wait to see grow up. Everyone is so grown up except me..
Noo really.. Watership Down people.

I will try to get back into the habit of updating.

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02:59pm 19/12/2008
  hey guys
jess is good again
i got really drunk on weds night and it was a lot of fun.
so much wine and rambling crap and fantastic people.
then throwing up before bed. haha.

yesterday i worked 4pm til midnight.
it was fine until everyone else left at 9. then EVERYONE decided to come to virgin.
there was a CONSTANT long line.
and some jerks were handing out hundreds of $10 myer gift vouchers.
it was crazy. but everyone was really nice and sympathised that i was there by myself and encouraged me that i was doing a good job.
i was doing a good job. i didn't even stress.
that is until the shop closed and there was shit everywhere and i still had to do cash clearances and close the registers and lots of other things.

i called work today and they told me they were ready to kill me until they saw figures. apparently in the 3 hours i was alone i sold over $3500 worth of stuff. so now theyre just very proud of me.

so today i was going todo christmas shopping but my body still aches.

my ginge is turning up in a few hours. that's pretty rad.
then i have tomorrow off and lots of hours sunday (big pay)

and my shifts for next week are awesome.
i only have to work til mid day on boxing day which makes me happy.

i had so many weird dreams today.
mostly i remember being sad because i was in love with declan from neighbours but he was marrying didge who i was also friends with.
i also dreamed that i had a boyfriend who was really obese. i loved him a lot but was hesitant in introducing him to my family.
i also had a crap dirty dream (you know.. it keeps getting interrupted and nothing happens)
theres more but i can't rememebr.

i do kind of love declan.. and didge.

i really just want to go back to sleep. haha.

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02:07pm 18/12/2008
  it's way hot today
and i don't want to go to work
and some things suck

but i have a ferret
and he's amazing

except when he attacked my feet last night
i was deeply upset

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07:42pm 17/12/2008
  yeah sigh
i'm drinking wine which is awesome
even more bad stuff has happened since my last post which is messing with my head a lot.

i just teared up watching romance on "how i met your mother" which is a little disturbing.

right now i'm feeling sorry for not myself but a lot of other people which is bumming me out a lot.

some people are really really beautiful.

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10:12am 05/12/2008
  Dear Journal
So I've been getting dizzy and have had no energy.
I haven't worked in a week and nearly passed out when I had a shower yesterday.
Soo I finally decided to make a doctors appointment.

So the bad flu I had for a few weeks caused fluid to build up behind my ears which caused vertigo.
Now I have drugs.

I'm sad that I'm going to miss the Christmas party tonight.
I want to mingle.. though I fear I'd not go too well.

I love going to the chemist. Today I bought my antibiotics, some antihystamines (apparently I should take them every day.. and they are expensive), some nice billie goat soap, shampoo and conditioner, and NEW SUNGLASSES!

Now I feel like resting again. But I won't.

I don't like taking things. I have enough crap giong in my body (athsma stuff, contraceptive, cigarettes etc) and I never take cold and flu tablets or panadol or anything.
But apparently the antihystamines will help me out a lot. So that's ok I guess.

My boyfriend's really nice. Especially in a dinner related way. Monday night he ordered in pizza and garlic bread for us. Tuesday night he took me out for dinner.. (I didn't want to go but moreso didn't want to offend him.. I felt so sick).. then on Wednesday night he cooked for me.
He gave me lots of hugs when I felt crappy.. but also laughed at me for being grumpy.. as we do when one is grumpy.

I finally finished my book. I couldn't find it for a while but then found out Mum had it. It was such a crazy book. "A Confederacy Of Dunces". Apparently it is Slash's favourite book. Haha. Oh.. and Mischa Barton's. But that doesn't impress me.
Everyone should read it. I found it a little bit difficult but it's soooo good.

Ok I have to go eat.

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09:23pm 26/11/2008
marky owen is now the father of a girl called willow

i wish i still cared more about tt.

everything else smells

except for my pay this week

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